Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen! xx Lektrogirl

IM NOT POSTING HERE ANY MORE

2010-03-14T15:06:00.002Z

HOW CONFUSING AM I?!

So sorry.

I spent a couple of hours moving the site over to Wordpress and it is the same old URL that we all know and love.

http://blog.lektrogirl.com

Come and see me there. All the old stuff is there are well. This poor old blogspot wont be updated any more.!

xx Lektrogirl

MENS FASHION FROM 1:48

2010-03-13T17:00:00.001Z

If I made a music video, I think it would be a bit like this.

xx Lektrogirl

IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME

2010-03-12T20:39:00.001Z

Irving Miller/Bernard Simpson Illustration, originally uploaded by sandiv999.

Hobart and I are in our PJ's minding our own business. We have made friends after the "Free leather jackets for all cats on a Wednesday" Facebook incident when she really got irked.

Tomorrow I am going to a Cake Decorating, Chocolate work and Sugar Craft fair with the Cardinal. Not really something that either of us want to advertise as it is hardly "low hand clicks" [TM Pippa Brooks when describing Card's look] or Executive Realness etc. I get the vague feelig Cards isn't as excited about it as she once was. But I am keen to find out if there is a supplier for gold chocolate transfers in the UK that will do personalised designs for when I open my own business. LOL.

Last night I had a dream about the Mushroom having sex with this girl that in real life we both thought was totally crazy but at one point he was talking about "something something" because she kept inviting him everywhere. In my dream, he had been to Iceland and she had fobbed off her 70 year old boyfriend to have sex with Mushroom. It was deep deep snow outside. Then Mushroom was telling me all about it. And I was hurt, but kept laughing my ass off that he was with yet another crazy bitch.

When will these dreams cease? They have no baring on reality at all.

Here is some advance warning to you all blog readers. There will be some changes happening around here over the coming days/weeks. I will be moving to Wordpress after all this bullshit blogger FTP crap thing combined with the successful publishing of other blog like my food blog. Look over on the left column and click on the Cinzano glass. So maybe I am going fuck something up majorly, but only by accident. I might go offline for a bit. But I will be back.

Thank you to all the people who read this blog and have told me how much they enjoy it. I am quite surprised that anybody reads it and whenever I learn that someone does, I genuinely get a bit squirmy about all the secrets that person must know. But then within minutes I learn every secret of their lives - I have instant best friends all over the place.

xx Lektrogirl

PROBLEMS

2010-03-12T13:15:00.002Z

Reeve 50551-25, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

Anxious over this change for blogger thing for FTP blogs.

xx Lektrogirl

NOT DYING NOT SO BAD

2010-03-11T23:49:00.001Z

Well I failed at suicide the last two days - mainly because I was too exhausted throwing my teary self into bed, crying more, wanting to die, thinking about Hobart on her own, crying more and hating the prospect of having to live because I am so in love with my cat but feeling nothing but emptiness inside.

On the other hand it turns out to be not such a bad thing as some drinks at The Haggerston with Tsouni who says 'HOW ARRRE YOUUUUEWWW?!' like a regular American its pretty cute and P-Dogg & J-Dogg. Tsouni; Eli & I had some really amazing graphic conversations about strip search, cervix exams, worm, armpits, anuses, dreadlocks etc. So captivating! I wish I could blog the images in my mind while we had that conversation. I was in heaven. Does heaven have a capital H?

I came home and the cat who is a recently confirmed pescatarian - who ate a saucer of rocket last night if you please - left the most pungent malodourous turd in her litter tray ever. She's staying on the straight craquette diet and thats it.

Xx lektrogirl

SCALES

2010-03-11T15:04:00.002Z

And it hangs in the balance

CHATROULETTE

2010-03-07T23:07:00.001Z

The internet phenomenon and TOTALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

xx Lektrogirl

DINING ALONE

2010-03-07T19:58:00.001Z

One of my favourite things has become dining alone. When I was younger I felt a bit of a knob, but now I think to sit in silence and imagine new things to cook - especially as there are lady gang dinners to plan for every six monthe or so when it comes up to my turn again. I visited Pippa at the Jumble sale today and delivered two types of macaron - lavander and rosemary. Tonight I'm wondering if kalamatta olives and chocolate would be a good flavour - Philippa tells me she had olives and hazelnut once. I wonder about beetroot and almond. Not essence, real almond.

Xx Lektrogirl

MIRABELL

2010-03-06T02:51:00.000Z

It will be a long week until Wednesday where nothing happens after I cross my fingers under the desk until they get pins and needles.

Speaking of pins, I saw Pin Eyes through the window tonight. I think it is almost pity I feel that he can't even bring himself to look at me. He's not mad anymore. Just embarrassed I think. And for all the talk about how cool he is, he panicked. Not a strong look.

I sometimes think of the Frog. He could have had anything, but his problem was he couldn't see further than keeping hold of everything. That really makes me mad.

I sometimes think of the Mushroom. The pit of my stomach - like a trapdoor - like a cellar full of coal dust - like a really horrible sink in a shed that only has freezing water or boiling water that smells of copper - the bitterest most glacial hatred.

PASCAL'S VIDEO HITS

2010-03-03T22:47:00.002Z

So who can forget such classics as "I'VE WAITED TIL IM CRAZY" or "BOULE DE FLIPPER" or "NIGHT OF FIRE"? I'm tell you, NOT ME. All of these videos and many more have appeared on this blog courtesy of Pascal / Puyo Puyo in Nantes. What a wonderful day.

xx Lektrogirl

A DAY OFF

2010-03-03T21:44:00.001Z

MOTORHEAD, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

I spent the day with Hobart on the sofa reading a new book called "The Fundamental Techniques of Classic Pastry Arts". It has a section devoted to all the different ways of cutting an apple for patisserie items and all the names in French. If you want to know what a "biscuit" is I can tell you - and it isn't a cookie. The book totally blew my mind and I was so excited, then exhausted from reading it, that I had to have a nap.

My kitchen is so tiny and shit that it is a bit depressing to think about how hard it is in there, but then I was reading 180 pages of "A sweet life in Paris" last night by David Lebovitz who tells of having icecream makers in his bedroom when he moved to Paris that I feel like there is some hope.

I think I need a cup of tea.

xx Lektrogirl

BLOOD

2010-03-03T18:20:00.001Z

early works, originally uploaded by favoriet.

LIFE

2010-03-02T13:15:00.001Z

06 The Game of Marseille, tarot card game, 1940-41, originally uploaded by A Journey Round My Skull.

THE WALK

2010-03-02T00:29:00.000Z

I wanted to tell you how much I love to walk down the street at night. Just not any street or any night. It's the street I walk down after the celebrated luxury of taking a black cab home from central London, stopping and the white building and coming down the little hill to my street.

I hear my feet on the pavement. Sometimes my feet hurt. Sometimes they don't. I feel the night air on my face. I walk proudly past the pub in case Pin Eyes is there. I don't look in. I see the trees from the graveyard. I see the spire from the church. I turn the corner to my cobbled street, put my key in the door and ask my favourite girlfriend if she had a good day. I close the door behind me to my favourite part of the day.

Good night everybody.

Xx Lektrogirl

MEN

2010-03-01T20:45:00.001Z

Photos of the day, March 1, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

Superduck told me today that a girl like me shouldn't be single. It was nice to see him. He is developing a very sexual man belly.

The other night, a friend told me his girlfriend had a fanny like a paper cut it was so neat and tiny. He also told me that there is no secret to giving a guy a blow job other than enthusiasm. It's true. Men will eat practically anything you cook them and be happy. Why would giving them a blow job be any more difficult?

I am going to try and write about food later and my trip to Paris.

xx Lektrogirl

IT IS SO EASY TO BE SNAZZY

2010-03-01T18:33:00.001Z

'70's Jell-O photo:), originally uploaded by pinetree4.

Even Jelly can do it.

I HUNG UP HER

2010-02-28T23:32:00.000Z

I was on the phone to my mother. She wasn't following what I was saying. I got frustrated and I just wanted to get off the phone as quickly as possible from this woman that gave birth to me but I don't even know how I can be related. She had a go at me for being uncontactable. I didnt answer my phone because I was watching Mad Men. I find it the most painfully empty show witheveryone so frustrated and sad and short lived happiness and the rest of the time they are just drunk. It reminds me very much of my father and the men from Dalgety. I haven't spelled that right I don't think. My Dad would come home pissed every day. My parents would argue. The house seemed dark. But maybe that is because it was a giant house in Adelaide built for the hot weather. In the garden were willow trees, hibiscus and pomegranite plants. We had ducks and a turtle. Dad had a sizeable mini bar. The garage and workshop seemed as big as the house. one day I made up a game after I made myself a wig from paper just so I could sit on the bed and be a doll. I didn't want to move. I just wanted to be still and have the day pass.

Xx Lektrogirl

A CHRISTMAS HAM AND A RONNIE

2010-02-28T19:20:00.001Z

Four Eyes, originally uploaded by thenakedsnail.

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

2010-02-27T21:23:00.000Z

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 26 February 2010 23:45
To: Emma
Subject: RE: some more pics of all the same things

Yeah loneliness IS a curse in many ways. Irember living in Burnie(NTas) in a five roomed brick house I bought from a local baker. Prolly got some photos of it somewhere? Ifound one of a young lookin bloke of 51years holding his 2 bestess friends, sat sitting in an armchair THE cat, hypolyte, a Siamiese and A lABRADOR, sally-SILLY AS WHEEL BUT A GOOD MATE, i've told you before about Hippy, OPEN front door and Hippy would claim her spot, run up my suit and sit ou my shouldertil We wentto bed.YEAHMATE, FOR ALL YOUR MEMORIeS OF ME BEING 'ORRIBLE TO ONE dog wotad just dug up me new plants, But Ive had some good anti-lonely pets Funny you saying you were 37, Whenever your age cimes up, I always think 31. Then I look at the pictures on the door and think I've made a mistake. You only look about 21.
The chances of winning 5000 bucks before you get here are about 14000000 to one. Pretty slim odds kiddo. bUT IF i can get the anti offa tight arse I' keep trying. i'll seeif I can swing a bit out o my'BURY ME ACCOUNT whic she has in my name and redirected from my pension,,
FARK, LIKE HER OLD MAN old bill used to have heart pangs opening his bowels a work out/
Got to gp kiddo..catch up with ya later. Luv yer aging pa, 37?

you look like a yong maidXXXXXX

DEGHUOOYDDRYJI

2010-02-27T20:15:00.001Z

Cant think of a better name than the above. Pissed again in the back of a taxi - cherry sour cocktails.

Met with the Lektrolab girls talking aboout the things we did. We never normally talk about it much or congratulate ourselves on what we acheived. we talked again about the superflex social pudding project which is one of my favourites. I miss Mikael come to think of it. I should visit Denmark again. Maybe the collective Lektrolab will do something again but this time more about having ideas, coming together and networking, sharing knowledge. I would like to have an endless dinner table and cook for dozens of people.

I would like him to kiss my neck with his hand on my tit.

The other Him Mrs K and I found out from Dora was born on Sunday and beats people with a cane for being wicked. But because He is Sunday, it is like being mad and throwing a stone at a computer and then straight afterwards feeling sorry He did it. That is Sunday people.

And I haven't written about Paris yet.

Xx Lektrogirl

A4 PAPER & CHRISTMAS HAM

2010-02-27T02:40:00.001Z

Tonight, I ended up at BANGFACE making anus jokes with A4 in my work clothes. I'm at home now with my favourite love kneading my Christmas Ham stomach of course as happy as anything, drunk - we started with the G&T at 3.30 today with the Saint Honore I made for Troll's birthday - wondering what it would be like to have a 2 minute fumble in the stationery cupboard after all the talk of creases and papercuts and one does (or at least I do. I'm sure men do. Maybe there's something wrong with me?) and tomorrow its Mrs Kipling's taxes (they should have never revealed her face in the ad's!!) then brainstorming with Covvo and then Sunday it's The Architects taxes. Don't you want my life? Errrr - sadly I love organising things. Except I didn't enjoy having to sort the 2 years worth of mail I had left unopened inside my front door.

Tralalala what a rambling stupid post.
If I thought about it I should have said about the video Jess is schooting for Ceephax. Uggg. Tired now. Night night.
Xx Lektrogirl

IM A FLUFFY GIRL

2010-02-26T16:25:00.000Z

xx Lektrogirl

PATE A CHOUX

2010-02-24T18:21:00.003Z

I'm going to put on my apron and make some pate a choux from my fancy new old cook book.

My heart is SINGING!

xx Lektrogirl

BACK TO WORK TODAY

2010-02-22T19:57:00.001Z

WRAIR F1752, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

It was good. But I wish I had more hands. And I wish I had £12,000 to enrol in the Patisserie chef school.

xx Lektrogirl

CP 1786

2010-02-21T17:11:00.001Z

CP 1786, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

ABOUT TO LEAVE

2010-02-20T18:40:00.000Z

A cannot stuff one more sweet thing in my face and I'm craving frites and mayonaise or something - bacon sandwich, baked fish, tom kai, poached eggs.

Au revoir, Paris. Je t'aime.

Xx Lektrogirl

DERRR

2010-02-20T09:17:00.001Z

Yesterday was spending money day - but all on a shoestring budget. What I want to know is, how can you buy beautiful knickers in Paris for 8 euro with all the right spots, ruffles and super soft fabrics and 14 euro bras that fit well but just over the channel in London, the equivalent is scratchy, looks cheaper than it cost, fits like it was designed by a blind dog and is usually hot pink with plastic crystals. Answers on a postcard please.
It is seriously no wonder French women walk well and have great hair - they dont have their finger in their knickerline all day.

So obviously I wandered around yesterday and this is the derrr part. Anytime anyone says 'Did you visit the Marais?' I say 'Oh no I never go there' thinking it was near the big Arc or something. It dawn on me yesterday that I usually spend most of my time in the Marais - not only cause I like the area but whenever I go I get lost which is fun - but when you have an agenda and the GPS on your phone swings between to locations its a pain the arse. What a fucktard.
After that I tried to visit a shop on Faubourg de Montmartre where you could get your auro photographed. It was closed down and the space now sold nasty shoes, bags and nylon scarves. So I went back the otherway past all the fancy dress shops, through some cute shopping arcade, and back down to rue/ave Montmartre to a specialist cookbook shop that I knew sold vintage books. I dropped some serious euro on a 1956 patisserie cookbook. Not only food porn disgusting cakes which I love, but the book has every starter recipe for all the basics - genoise, brioche, pate - the one with the circumflex on the a not the acute on the e, choux and then every french cake ever with the permutation recipe. Afternoon teas for summer here we come!

Xx Lektrogirl

PARISED OUT

2010-02-19T08:52:00.003Z

Today is a day I need to read the guide books again, check the bank balance and regroup before I step out into the lovely sunny morning it is here.

Yesterday I went to the Musée Dupuytren and saw all kinds of body parts in glass jars from the 1800's. Looking at the babies and two headed unborn puppies wasnt so bad, because the babies DID look like Cabbage Patch Kids. The wax mould of vaginas with clitorises that were baby penisese NBD. What I found hard to stomach were the slices of heart, brain etc etc because it looked like some of the weird offaly food you see round Paris which makes me feel sick in the same way. But after that - I don't feel so compulsed to see the museum of skin disease waxes which is probably more up my street.

The best thing I saw in Paris - and this was last time I was here - was the mineral museum at the whats-his-name and Marie Curié University.

Last night I was GUTTED to hear that I will miss the Fifi Chachnil shop opening in London on Saturday after Pippa sent me a text invitation. I will never forget the epic afternoon that Pippa and I spent looking for an elusive Fifi shop here in Paris and we were so fucking happy when we did. So thrilled in fact we bought A LOT.

Actually with that little dream over, I might check all my friends blogs to see what they are doing for a little inspiration.

xx Lektrogirl

JUST A THOUGHT

2010-02-18T22:01:00.000Z

I saw myself in the mirror and it dawned on my the reason why I hate going out is because I so absolutely hate every part of myself. I just feel like I'm wasting the space of anywhere I go. Except at home. Wherever 'home' is designated for that week.

Xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

2010-02-18T09:51:00.002Z

Slow morning and taking the opportunity to check some emails on a laptop rather than my phone. The GA has finally made it out of bed into the computer room:

emmsie young mate. one, I DECIDED THE PRUNINING OF rose could wait another day, when they told me, the resident comp was up and running, so I thought i'd be sure to get a glimpse of morning tea from your e'mails? WHICH MAY i ADD ARE GETTING MORE GUT ENTICING AS YOU COOK? OR SHOULD ONE ASK 'CREATE'?Bloody caps lock, OR MORE PERTINENTLY A WEAK BRAIN? w.f.brain?

If I don't make reference to furry bottom she'll prolly muck my computor up again!
How yer goin' Hobart? Has the mistress stopped beating you yet? Wot are all those brown bruise marks on yer fur? Give 'r a good scratch for me, duckie.
I'L EMAIL ANOTHER TOMORROW. IN PLACFE OF THE indescribably badly written effort I had started. Couldn't take the chanceof your boss seeing what a dunce your father must be.
the young woman who overlooked my effort to write, who at 20 years had nevever seen a pen to write with before in her life, expressed considrable amazement when she saw the pen dipped in ink then leave readable marks on paper,
Then SHE SLID THE LUNCH TRAY TOWARD ME AND DEFTLY PUSHED THE INK BOTTLE OFF THE TABLE, Quink everywhere. She was stunned, 'OH' that's what ink is'? Talk about dumb blondes, JESUS
Me back oesn't like sitting up after 4 or 5 monts of lying down. Getting old kid, So's yer mother, old and cranky, and meaner than her fsther. Still we won't continue in that vein, nothing can be gained by complaning about the unchaingeable. I could give me ammunition for tomorrows effort, nearly hd another slight heart atack when the news showed the train crash in Belgium. I always have turulations when Europe gives nasty news.always wonder whre you were at the time,
Corned beef 4 lunch, Not a great meat eater cant' stand the thought of the beasts previous slaughter, maybe I;ll grow up one dayy?
Cheers to u both. Fight te good fight, Give my regards to Mrs Danzer(?) spelling
luv from the old fella.XXXX

And then yesterday another one:

you ought to expand your cakeartby adding the odd symbol.Religious. Arsenal logo 'We are the very best!, I think, or up yours, even just plain old bollox. tHAT WOULD MAKE EM COUGH ON fheir Maccafukkinroons. Just come in from the garden bit, working with no brace around me upper body. bit painful now. but every little helps to get a bit of strength and weight back. Down to 74 kilos at the moment. But finding it difficult to eat meat. THEA.B.C. Doco of Chine hanging beatifull dogs so their blood congeals in the meat, Made the meat sweeter for eating. mate. iFIND IT DIFFICULT TO PUT MEAT, any meat into my gutsfor the moment. TThat last pic of a ferraal was of Philippa's black furry monster. Right?. i'll have to dob you into Hoby. SeeYOU KID. HOPE YOUSE ALL KEEPING WELL? Luv ex yer DadXXXX

INCIDENTLY

2010-02-18T09:13:00.001Z

Institubes - Paris from James Pearson-Howes on Vimeo.

APRES LE SHOPPING

2010-02-17T15:30:00.001Z

Today was burger lunch, G Detout & Mora - two kitchen supply places, Astier de Villatte (full of rich Americans and two more of my two goblets.) Left thinking 'save the money for Darys' cause who knows what kind of piece of bijouterie I will find in there. I got the bitchy red head - avoid her at all costs. She makes any simple request a misery. each time I have been in there and asked for something and the shape of a Rat she said 'We don't have any rat jewellery' and with persistance I have left each time with something ratty. This time I couldn't be bothered with her and after the 'No Rats' I left thinking I will maybe come back to look at A de V again and try and get the brunette. Off to Angelina and totally macarooned out. Especially as they weren't all that. Back to Stalingrad hideout for a post sugar nap, dump the madeleine tray and think my next plans.

Xx Lektrogirl

CONFUSED IN PARIS

2010-02-17T09:33:00.000Z

I'm in the metro on a train blogging. Yes that's right. Mobiles work here.

More shocking: I just saw a French woman hogging a chocolate muffin over a bin on one of the platforms. In Paris, with all the patisseries, how can this happen?!

Xx Confused

THE HOOKER HOTEL

2010-02-16T20:54:00.001Z

I really love my hotel. It won't be to everyones taste. Some rooms are by the hour. The couple next to me in Number 9 were very loud for all of three seconds.

I have just had the greated day. Macarons and then after, I think I possibly had the best dinner of my life at Le Torquet in the 15th.

Tomorrow, I have a three page sheet of suppliers for professional kitchen activity that I a m going to cover as much of as possible. And on recommendation of Polly at Le Cordon Bleu, if I have done Laduree and Pierre Herme I have to go to Angeliques at Les Halles.

Folks you will not believe the pictures I am amassing of my travels. I can't wait to show you. Thanks to Mrs K for recommending the Panasonic Lumix which I bought in Singapore.

A demain

Xx Lektrogirl

MON DIEU

2010-02-16T13:54:00.000Z

Sitting in 'the winter garden' at Le Cordon Bleu feeling like a total dick while other dudes who are in their kitchen whites who obvs have just had some test going 'hoho it was easy peasy' and 'yeah i just burnt myself'. Bahbahbahbah I'm feeling nervous.

THE HOOK UP

2010-02-15T21:37:00.000Z

I don't want to spoil everything and blurt out the whole story without pictures. Tonight at a restaurant within walking distance of my hotel (and I have to confess I LOVE 2 STAR PARISIAN HOTELS!!!!) and even closer to Le Cordon Bleu I went to Belsomething for dinner. On the way out the chef was shaking my hand and I told him I was nervous about tomorrow. He said 'Who is the chef? What time is the class? I will come and say hello. See you tomorrow.' I'll report back.

Back in my hotel all the Africans left the living room so all is quiet. Except for all the noise coming from room 309.

Xx Lektrogirl

LE TRAIN

2010-02-15T17:47:00.000Z

Outside, it is already dark. There is a lot of snow. I would love a cup of tea.

THE LADY GANG

2010-02-13T14:22:00.001Z

1958 - Dupont, originally uploaded by myvintagevogue.

Mrs Kipling is behind the camera dressed similarly but with brogues on her feet.

SNOW DAY GO AWAY

2010-02-11T15:33:00.001Z

02 Illus. by Beatrice Braun-Fock for Old Man Winter Comes to Town by Hilde Hoffmann (1959), originally uploaded by A Journey Round My Skull.

I am loving this sun coming out at the moment and hating the snow when it shows it sneaky face. Determined I wore long thick socks and a knee length skirt and flimsy knickers with lots of layers on top. The walk to the tube station was bitterly cold.

It cleared my head after the endless glasses of red wine and a stolen kiss with someone most unsuitable on the landing of the fourth floor.

xx Lektrogirl

TODAY LONDON NEXT WEEK PARIS

2010-02-09T12:43:00.003Z

a.k.a. My Love Affair With the Macaron

So how many people have I told the same story to over and over

I'M GOING TO PARIS TO LE CORDON BLEU TO LEARN "THE SECRET OF MACARONS".

I was talking to Mum on the phone this morning asking her "What other kind of cake is hard and a bit fiddly that you have to practice loads to get perfect and even go to a class?" and she said "Profiteroles?" I told her I already made those and they were easy. Maybe not perfect, but successful enough on the first go to not feel challenged. Sponge cake - I have totally cracked it. I have struggled with cannellés and clafoutis - maybe that is the kind of thing - but nothing like a macaron. If you serve a macaron, people are amazed and always say "HOW DO YOU DO THIS? Is there a mould? Do you drop it into something hot? How do you get it so smooth?" etc etc etc. Anyway I have no clue as to what I will learn in Paris but I am getting HELLISHLY excited. And I feel a bit sick/nervous about it. The confirmation letter even tells you what you have to wear in the kitchen.

So - with this level of thrill in mind let me tell you first of all about Mrs K MEETING PIERRE HERME at the new Selfies consession where she had to photograph him for work. I had about 5 missed calls from her that day as she attempted to tell me "MOVE YOUR ASS HERE IMMEDIATELY" and as I said in my previous post about it [and apparently MISQUOTED and then got berated for it afterwards and I told her "Okay woah like fine but I will just blow it up all over the blog about how you yelled at me LOL brb gtg my nbff just logged on bye".

Oh Buddah where was I? Oh - about to eat this gift of personally selected macarons by Mrs K from Pierre Hermés own hand.

Here are a few views of the macarons at The Cardinals house. Please note the china. Also in bottom photo bottom left please note the sliver of marmite toast available for palate cleansing.

You may remember if you even care, these were the ones I had in Paris when I was there last from Pierre Hermé shortly after getting silly stringed by three pre teens on a skateboard outside the the Pierre and Marie Curé University mineral and gem museum.

So The Cardinal and I were in a gifted position to be able to truly assess the macarons in the privacy of her living room in front of an open fire, sipping Earl Grey Tea from china cups and a variety of cutlery to best perform the operations of peeling apart the layers.

Not the first time I have done this. Remember Nantes?

Sorry lost in a K-HOLE of macaron reminiscing and checking on the Danish cabbage in the kitchen.

Back to Pierre Hermé. There seems to be a whole divide between Pierre Hermé vs Ladurée and who's is better and whatever. I am going to say that on the whole, I prefer Ladurée. I like to know that what is labelled as Rose is going to taste like Rose. Admittedly I do admire the adventure of P.H.'s "collections" but I think the ratio there is too much filling to macaron and I am not a big fan of chocolate & fruit together at the best of times. I think they are both marvellous though. The only macarons I ever that that were awful were the ones in Nantes - the really tasted like lipstick, shampoo and shower gel.

With all this preamble, lets get ourselves to Sunday afternoon when I had a tea at The Crib with a selection of O.G.'s in attendance: Covvo, Alex T [the sub editor], Ella, Fi and the Cardinal. Hobart was also there but her presence was only felt when she scratched the Cardinal and singed her whiskers on a candle. For my guests I presented my take on cream cheese & radish and egg mayonaisse & quails egg sandwiches. Followed by a selection of macarons made in my own exclusive kitchen and two cakes. Oh and Champagne and tea.

These were Bailey's and Hazelnut. Total fail in my opinion but Alex T was more than happy to take the ones we didn't eat home with him at the end.

These were Campari and Blood orange on the left and Lavender on the right. Both lovely.

These were Basil, Pinenut & Honey with Lime. They totally cleaned up. Unfortunately they are a visual fail - see the brown bit? Slightly over done but did not affect taste.

The success of these makes me feel a bit less nervous about the class in Paris. I have to say, I had a very jolly afternoon after heinous weeks at work. The cookbook was planned. I will even be doing a chapter on Chinese food. It will be one page long.

"Don't fuck with it and leave it to the Chinese."

Although since then, I have been thinking about macaron recipes on that theme.

My lunch is ready now - braised fennel and Danish cabbage. I'm going to go eat it. You can be rest assured that I will be reporting back in detail from Paris all about how I go. PLUS I have been in touch with Goon already to discuss the restaurants we will be visiting! YERRRRRR.

xx Lektrogirl

Boys Baseball Team

2010-02-08T20:05:00.001Z

Boys Baseball Team, originally uploaded by discoverblackheritage.

HOBART HATING BALLOONS

2010-02-08T15:34:00.001Z

Hobart Hating Balloons, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

This is how I feel about the snow.

xx Lektrogirl

THE FAMOUS DORA

2010-02-07T22:45:00.001Z

Dora The Ignorer, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Hi Everyone

I just want to introduce you to Dora. She is on the phone, she doesn't have a crook shoulder. She was on the phone to her Pastor [the nice one]. There was a Pastor from Ghana who phoned her later over a little bottle of oil that she didn't even want that he said she owed 2 million for [Ghana money] and he said he will curse her and he she thinks that she is powerful but only Jesus is powerful but he will put a curse on her. Then he ran out of credit and had to hang up. We laughed. Then Dora got on the phone and rang this man in Ghana. I swear. I NEVER want to fall out with Dora.

This picture was taken before I spilled a kilo of flour all over her while we baked together. I showed her how to make genoese sponge. I made one and it stuck in the tin. She ate the whole thing, handful by handful in one go while it was still warm.

She doesn't always wear that wig. Her sister did it for her. [Not her real sister - just like Joe who called from Birmingham is not her real brother although to have a real brother who went to The Netherlands to buy a Hummer to sell in Ghana in the Summer probably wouldn't be bad but Joe is not a real brother cause he is only a friend of an Aunty who is not even a real Aunty.]

The conversation she was having with the nice Pastor here in London was about a white couple who separated and the man got custody of the kid cause the woman is a "drunka".

xx Lektrogirl

T.O.T.A.L. MEGA OOMMGG

2010-02-05T14:33:00.000Z

Mrs Kipling met Pierre Herme today at Selfridges. She said I'd shit when she told me who she met. Not only me, but when I told Cards, she did too!

AMM 553

2010-02-02T20:10:00.001Z

AMM 553, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

I don't like posting pictures in portrait. I prefer landscape.

WISH I COULD GO TO WORK LIKE THIS TODAY!

2010-02-01T09:46:00.001Z

Vintage Photo, originally uploaded by fun old new.

EDIROL V4 VIDEO VJ MIXER FOR SALE £550

2010-01-28T22:48:00.002Z

PERFECT CONDITION!!

On sale on eBay now.

THE BOOYAH COOK: GODESS

2010-01-27T23:27:00.003Z

One day I will bother explaining the ins and out of what it has been like living with Bipolar Mood Affective Disorder [aka Manic Depression that most people use - albeit incorrectly] but frankly it is a drag and a drain IRL so never really feel like blowing the trumpet online. But today as a absolute forced activity to get myself off the sofa I decided to work on my cake invention recipe and perfect it in the aim of sharing it with all of you. I can say categorically that cake eating Hayley at work has nominated this her favourite. She can elucidate her thoughts on every cake I every made and everything that goes into her mouth infinitum so truss, yeah. She knows.

So after today's success I feel confident to announce The Booyah Cook has achieved some earth bound status - NOW KNOW AS GODDESS!!

Since then I have been with Sean Combs on a jet ski in Miami, making it rain up and down the strip in LA, my life is like a movie but if it looks like I'm having more fun than you then sue me. ETC.

MY CAKE
In concept is my favourite bits from different kinds of cakes: super moist vanilla sponge, fresh fruit, clafoutis-esque, lasts a long time. I have tried both a cherry one and a blackberry one. I think it will work with anything like mulberries, figs, fresh apricots or peaches, nectarines - strawberries would taste good but they would look rank.

Cherry

1] Grease a 9 inch / 23 cm (ideal size for BDL's) circular cake tin and dust it with flour. It has to be a loose bottomed or spring loaded tin or when you get the cake out all the fruit is gonna mush up.

2] Preheat the oven to about 180 degrees C / 350 degrees F

I would like to say "freestyle freestyle" but the science of silkience will not adjust [remember that ad or is it just Australian? Mrs G?] when it comes to baking cakes. If a recipe recommends a particular tin at certain temperature, and you change either of those things it will impact on your recipe. Maybe even instant fail you.

3] With electric beaters cream together 120g butter and 120g castor sugar.
If you never made a cake before, this means mix the two together until the colour changes to a lighter shade and smooths into a paste and isnt all crumbly sugar and icing any more. Can take anything between 5 - 8 minutes.

4] Add two eggs. Get on the beating again. Mix until the colour changes again. It will end up pretty pale. Takes about 5-6 mins after adding the egg.

5] Add 240 grams of plain flour and 1 teaspoon of baking powder. Mix it in with a spoon or spatula. Don't using the electric beaters now. The beaters will over work the flour and make it "tough" and you will end up with a loaf of flat bread. When you have mixed in all the flour, you will have a kind of doughy looking mixture though.

6] Mix in 6 drops of vanilla essence and 200 mls of creme fraiche with the spoon. It is still gonna be a doughy looking mixture. If you think it is too dry, add 10 mls of milk / water / alcohol whatever but not more.

7] Tip the mixture in the tin and spread it with the back of the spoon to the edges. Doesn't have to be smooth, just kind of level.

8] Cover the top with whatever fruit you want. You are going to bake your cake for a fairly long time. So don't put anything too small on it and the cake needs to rise underneath the weight of the fruit so make small slices of peaches or whatever. Try the blackberries first though. Awesome!

9]Put the cake in the oven for 40 minutes. It will most likely have to go in again. Everyone's oven is different so maybe 40 minutes will be enough. Test like this: Use a skewer and prick the cake right to the bottom in the centre of the cake. If the skewer comes out clean, then the cake should be done. If there is any goo, put it in for another 15 minutes.

If the middle is gooey but the top has turned brown, turn your oven down 10-20 degrees before shoving the cake back in for the second go in the oven.

10] Leave the cake too cool a bit in the tin before turning it out. Then leave it on a rack to cook completely before you dust it with icing sugar you sprinkle on through a sieve.

Blackberry

The end.

Yum.

The icing sugar will eventually dissolve into the cake after a while with the moisture. It isn't even really important to put it on there. Whatever you want!

BOOYAH

xx Lektrogirl

SPOILT FOR CHOICE

2010-01-27T23:12:00.002Z

Listening to Snoop Dogg, eating pistachio icecream and checking these out:

And another 10 pages of them on my flickr.

THE INDIGNITY

2010-01-27T17:12:00.001Z

Ted modelling Cabbage Patch Kid Clothes, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Here I am at my age already making clothes from my niece's Cabbage Patch Kid doll. Hang on a minute - her dolls are actually the dolls my sister and I had. Weird deja vu.

The model you see here though is Ted. [Also known as Little Ted cause I had Big Ted too.] Ted I got on the day I was born. He has suffered a lot through his life but seems to be still going. Ted is wearing the latest in Cabbage Patch Couture made by the hands of yours truly out of some old scarf I had. Secretly wishing I could have a similar dress in my size, including dogs as big as me on the front. I tried to get it on Hobart but she was having none of it. Instead she crept up from behind and jumped onto me clinging to my back like a backpack. The pain. The pain.

The other night I went to Westfields with Cardinal. We had a stroll through Miu Miu like we were actually going to buy something. I looked at some dykey sandals that were pretty hot in a Homey Peds kind of way. But I probably could get some Homey Peds identical except they wouldn't be made from crocodile leather would they?
We then went to the champagne bar and had some blush champagne.
I bought a lipstick.
Then we had dinner.
Then we went to Waitrose.
Then I came home and cried.

I need to go check on a cake. Laters. If the cake worked, a new Booyah Cook section coming.

xx Lektrogirl

STRONG LOOK

2010-01-24T15:17:00.001Z

BUMED 09-8131-9, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

TIPS FOR DIY

2010-01-24T14:20:00.002Z

There are two very very important things that I tell myself every time after completing a home DIY project. And I forget every time when it comes round to do the next project. Let me share them with you and maybe you will benefit from this knowledge.

1] NEVER use the screws supplied for fixtures that are to go into mortar. The heads of the screw always "melt", even with a hand screw driver, making it impossible to get the screw in or out. ALWAYS buy your own screws from the hardware store.

2] SNOOP DOGG & DR DRE are the two best artists to listen to while performing DIY tasks. Their soundtracks provide reasonable aggression, humour and focus and put you into the right frame of mind / swagger to get any job done in minimal time.

Thanks for listening.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. If you have not cracked up at "I Love The DJ" by R Kelly yet, take a look on YouTube and you sure will.

ABENA NOW

2010-01-23T21:40:00.002Z

Today Dora taught me about baby names in Ghana. I was born on Tuesday so my name is Abena. And if I was a boy, it would have been Kwabena. Then I taught Dora / Afia how to use youtube and we looked at a lot of Christiana Love and Profit Seth videos. I was asking her about the Hiplife videos and she told me "They smoke marjuana these ones." And then she told me about her son Festus who made a rap demo.

Christiana Love is a pastors wife. She does not dress appropriately for church and she dances like a normal person and not like a pastors wife. Apparently.

I love Kwaku's voice. And Seth in this video is Profit Seth. And Seth used to be in Dora's church back in Ghana.

xx Abena

TODAY'S REPORT

2010-01-20T22:42:00.001Z

Ready, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

A totally unnecessary Hobart photo but she's there for want of a better one.

Such a busy week - the Lingerie show, back at the office, then this afternoon I had the absolute pleasure of meeting Ceila Birtwell. My boss was away in Paris and someone from my company had to go with Celia to represent my bosses wishes so I went to take notes.

It was a sample meeting between Celia and a business partner where she was to review factory production samples. Pantone books out, notes taken, buttons counted. SO MUCH FUN. I spent 3 hours with Celia & Co. I was sitting there making sure everything was approved correctly, contractual obligations were being met by both sides, basically ticking a big list TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK and then reporting back to my boss who was wrestling on a pair of panty hose at the end of the day after rolling back into town and getting ready to go out again for a party.

Such larks.

xx Lektrogirl

FUNNY 2 DAYS

2010-01-18T20:59:00.001Z

Les Mauvaises têtes de Coquinet, 1944 c, originally uploaded by A Journey Round My Skull.

I've been working in The Metropolitan for the last two days for The Lingerie Collective.

My favourites were a brand called Lascivious www.lascivious.co.uk

and a German brand called Wundervoll. Unfortunately their site is flash and I can't be bothered doing more than hotlinking at the moment.

http://wundervoll.com/

And if I can just say, the Founder and CEO of Wondervoll is a total babe. I might even do another post of UBM for that, although I have a long overdue folder full of material from *erock / Audio Dregs from UBM 3

Anyway I'm feeling Tiki Bar tipsy, tired and not particularly talkative but need to mention finally, if you like the picture at the top of this post, check out the whole book here. http://www.flickr.com/photos/taffeta/sets/72157603068370164/

xx Lektrogirl

URGH

2010-01-13T08:36:00.001Z

FUCK THE SNOW

I WISH

2010-01-12T16:55:00.001Z

Вологда, январь 2010 г., originally uploaded by im_foto.

IN LOVE <3 <3 <3

2010-01-10T12:31:00.002Z

I never fancied a Japanese guy before, but here are five of them. I have to say, I have as much chance as getting with R Kelly but can I at least send out my wish for Spring Summer 2010: I would like to walk round town and see as many men dressed like this as possible. Yacht Rock with a pink rosette!

xx Lektrogirl

STRONG LOOK

2010-01-10T12:03:00.002Z

And don't give a fuck what anyone says.

Possibly my top YouTube video for Jan 10.

xx Lektrogirl

OH MY

2010-01-09T12:38:00.001Z

Disaster Fetish Tour 2009, originally uploaded by nullsleep.

MY BOYFRIEND FIRST

2010-01-07T22:11:00.000Z

First guy in the shorts is mine!
Second guy is for The Cardinal [do for love]

xx Lektrogirl

BROWN EYED GIRLS

2010-01-07T22:09:00.001Z

STRONG LOOK

2010-01-06T18:09:00.001Z

Strong Look, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Today I was off and woke up with a sore throat. I did start last night, but unravelled it all again. Officially though, I made myself a new neck warmer thing while teaching myself to crochet. What more can a girl want in one item: frills, chunky wool, pompoms and the best button ever. I want to get into Liberty tomorrow and buy some more wool cause I have an idea for making another one.

This button I bought in a whole gang of them which I have kept in a jar for ages.

Off, it isn't such a strong look and I think it does look better with a towel head. I used alpaca wool.

Anyway - crocheting is fun and if you use thick wool and a 12 mm hook it goes super fast. Unlike these mittens I made once for Paul.

"Good Wife Mittens"

This is from my old website.

"here are some mitten that i knitted for paul. now that i am married i am not sure i would bother doing such a thing but let's see.

a knitting hobby is a good one to pick up - it puts you in great company with supermodels and pop stars who are all keen to get their needles out.

for these mittens i used pure wool on two metal needles - acrylic wool makes a bad noise on metal needles. the actual farisle design i just made up as i went along. the pattern i used [and reproduced below] i just googled from the internet."

You can see the pattern here.

A SORE THROAT

2010-01-06T17:42:00.001Z

02 Russian elementary school textbook on The Miracle of Life, 1992, originally uploaded by A Journey Round My Skull.

FIRST DAY BACK

2010-01-04T16:05:00.003Z

NCP 14168, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

Well you know how it is. You are all either having it or had it last week. I am hating it. I am sorry everyone that I didn't pick the phone up for yesterday. I had to have a holiday from my holiday. I was so exhausted.

I did start the day with a mini adventure with The Cardinal. The 02 Centre for Habitat and Homebase. Then through the carwash with a Chai Tea Latte. Now that is what I call living.

Then home to mend the toilet, bleach the scribbled on vintage breadboard, scrub the scribbled on table cloth and watch episodes of City Homicide - and excellent Aussie cop show my mum has got me hooked on - back to back til bed time.

Wednesday is my day off. Call me back then okay?!

xx Lektrogirl

Flickr

2010-01-04T16:05:00.001Z

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

WAKE UP AND IT'S A NEW DAY

2009-12-31T15:22:00.001Z

01 Maria Rosa by Vera Kelsey and Candido Portinari (1942), originally uploaded by A Journey Round My Skull.

I have my friends from Nantes with me. The first thing they did when they arrived was open their bags and pull out:

A shoe box full of cheese
3 bottles of champagne
2 different assortments of chocolates [one home made]
Fois gras
And a a bread I can't remember the name of but it is super thin, filled with garlic and called something like "Pre Crazy"

So tonight we will be drinking and eating and making a radio show together for their show THE BRAIN all about the different turns of phrases in each language and the literal translations.

For example:
"faire une perruque" translates as "to make a wig".
What it means though is to do personal work at work. Like 200,000 print making your own pornozine on the work colour photocopier. Which I could do actually thinking about it as I am actually at work right now et je fais une perruque avec le blog. So, I digress. Now you know what I will be doing and I hope you all have something fun planned.

Happy New Year to all my lovely friends!!!
I was going to say something about dying in a fire to people I hate, but I actually felt too mean saying that now like I would curse myself. So consider yourselves lucky that you get off once on the last day of 2009.

And what a shit year for me it had been.

xx Lektrogirl

DEPRESSING WEATHER

2009-12-28T09:17:00.001Z

Baby Kiwi Fruit, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

There is also a passion fruit vine, a banana passion fruit vine and a grape vine in the same part of the garden. When the passion flowers are in bloom is so beautiful. And of course all the roses are out etc.

BUT back in London and grey grey grey. If I knew how to build a giant sun lamp for us I would.

xx Lektrogirl

I LIKE THIS PICTURE OF AMY

2009-12-27T11:08:00.001Z

Getting rid of my stuff No.1, originally uploaded by harriet_the_spy.

POST CHRISTMAS POST

2009-12-26T18:11:00.001Z

Merry Christmas, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

This was actually Christmas Eve. Dad and I were making a video. I hope this Santa's helper didn't deliver your presents this year. Cause if they were as filthy as the things that were coming out of his mouth, there would have been a lot of blushing on Christmas morning.

I am home. My cat Hobart is suddenly fat. I don't know what The Cardinal did to her. I'm going to starve her till the New Year and see what happens.

I on the other hand was told separately by both my parents that I could do with losing 10 kilograms and I am too fat. Happy Christmas to you too. The thing is my sister lives on the other side of the world, with a totally different diet, life, lifestyle, is a swimming instructor, mother of 3 kids, does all these diets all the time etc etc and our bodies are identical so I think looking at pics of all the aunties and great aunties on Dad's side, this is who we are. Well I do wish I had the motivation to go running at the gym like Mrs Kipling and watch episode of Law and Order on the iPod, but I think she does it purely to ensure her intake of chocolates that are kept in the freezer is not limited in any way. Basically at the Kipling house, all there is in the freezer and fridge is chocolate and film. And woe betide anyone who splashes water on the shiny work surface in there ;))))))

HAHAHA personal spin out moment. This blog started three years ago gossiping about all kinds of no-one DJ's and non-starters from nowheresville and now look at the kind of "gossip" I'm spreading. Careful dear readers, don't lift your skirts too far above your ankles... At least no-one has smashed a plate of food over my head in a restaurant for my blog.

Oh hang on - EX HUSBAND AS I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE OR HOW TO GET HOLD OF YOU - maybe one of your ex / current / weirdo girlfriends [that is a choice of three not a conglomerate] who read my blog for no reason that I can fathom, or some other nosey parker that will love nothing better than some shit stirring - can let you know that I HAVE JUST HELD MY FATHERS HAND WHO WAS CRYING THAT HE WOULD NEVER SEE ME AGAIN AND TRAVELLED 34 FUCKING HOURS AND OPENED MY FRONT DOOR TO FIND MAIL ADDRESSED TO YOU FROM YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT ON MY FLOOR. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DUDE?! HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN?! Don't bother calling. It's in the bin. Oh and that cool shop at Changi with all the acupuncture models in it has gone and is replaced by an upmarket Chinese "Health" Store.

I bought the Panasonic camera that is the same as the Leica DLUX-4. Exciting.

I'm glad to be home.

xx Lektrogirl

THINGS I LIKE IN CHANGI AIRPORT

2009-12-25T23:31:00.000Z

1. The carpets
2. The numerous foot massage machines
3. The clean spacious toilets which are all over the joint and have plants and powder rooms
4. The free internet
5. All the carp ponds in the different terminals
6. Dr Fish in Terminal 1 open 24 hours that have the ponds of baby fish that nibble the dead skin off your feet (tho I didn't do this)
7. Getting text messages from my 2 homes saying 'how's it goin?'
8. Knowing that I have a home at either end of the journey.

Last time I was here going through security, a man at the x-ray machine was asking me about the studs on my bag and what the word in English was. The other two were laughing saying 'Don't worry he's from Africa. He used to eat people but we have him under control now.' The guy started doing tiger moves and said 'Yes I ate live animals.'

I was glad to board my flight.

Xx Lektrogirl

THE WORST XMAS EVER?

2009-12-25T12:42:00.001Z

I spent today watching my sister and her family unwrapping presents in Devonport via skype from Hobart. 2 hours drive. Then, backwards and forwards to my Dad in the home three times. Each time he was either rude, crying or beligerant. Or all three. And still refusing to eat. After lunch, Auntie D did a massive shit and I walked into the bathroom about 20 mins later and I nearly choked.

I am going to try and come back in March like I originally planned. But it's awful not knowing if your Dad will be dead or not.

FRIENDSTER

2009-12-23T08:26:00.001Z

Remember Friendster? I just did and went back and looked at my page. Hohoho. Last comments were from 2003!!

My Friendster Profile

INVESTIGATION

2009-12-19T19:34:00.003Z

God, I have been cracking up to myself about this video and the party, with the baseball caps, divas, cats and disco lights. I can't possibly make the jokes I want to. But I laughed so hard I coughed up a slug of phlegm which landed on my sleeve. Gross.

xx Lektrogirl

SOMETIMES I AM SO STUPID

2009-12-19T19:22:00.001Z

I spend ages on YouTube the other night trying to find this song again, and just realised after reading the first month of posts on this blog ever it was there all along.

XMAS TREE REPORT FROM THE CARDINAL

2009-12-19T19:13:00.001Z

XMAS TREE REPORT FROM THE CARDINAL, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

I have a bet with Mrs Kipling that the devastation will come Sunday UK time. In the mean time here is a picture The Cardinal sent me showing how delightful Hobart is at the moment. Look at her little legs! Behind the laser eyes, that look on her face is "acting". In her mind, she has thrown herself deep into the branches of that tree. I swear, unless Cards drugs her, that tree will come down.

Last night I called Daniel Dejong. I thought he would never call me back. He did! He has a little baby girl born on the 5th of December. Sagittarius just like me. And her name starts with E. The story did break my heart a little bit. But I am so happy for him. He seems he has found his stride. And now I know why he never ever ever took his top of in front of me. But I'm not going to tell. People think I blab everything about everyone. But yes folks, even I have secrets.

xx Lektrogirl

THE GA BACK AT THE HOME

2009-12-19T02:11:00.001Z

The GA at Home, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

I got up at 6am to get ready to go to this exhibition my Auntie Diane had some work in [aka A.D.] I was relieved to be up cause it was such a struggle to be asleep with a headache and snuffy nose. I made a tea etc etc. Kicked over the rest of the fence Mutts wants me to demolish made from concrete breeze blocks with one foot.

Then off to Salamanca to see teh exhibition and the market where there is about 100 stalls of Tasmania shaped clocks made from Huon Pine or tie dyed silk scarves or soaps. I found one stall with second hand clothes and one woman with food stuck in her teeth asked me all about second hand stuff in London.

Then I went to the Mongs vegie stalls and bought some baby courgettes with the flowers. Only we call them zucchini here.

Then I lost my temper with Mutts and A.D. for taking so fucking long as I was seriously fading. They got me a National Pie which A.D. told me she heard was aka a "body bag" and never ate one again. I enjoyed it never the less.

I went and visited the GA and to make him useful I put my feet on his bed and he gave them a rub with his good arm. He was real happy. He was chatting away about how he feels lucky to have his prayers answered and to see me one more time. Then he went on about a number of the other people in the home who have died since he has been there, most of which he didnt like very much. He had a chuckle about every one saying "She was an old bitch" or "Rude bastard" or whatever.

He also called the Chaplains wife a big bosomed bottom swinging lunch gobbling fucker and he was wasnt going to change to "having faith" for her.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB UPDATE

2009-12-18T04:43:00.002Z

The GA, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

It was a horrid moment when I was in Melbourne at the airport and Mum text me to day Dad was having an operation and there was a strong possibility that he may die on the operating table. I really thought "FUCK I'm not going to make it."

When we got to the hospital though, I should have known that of course the prick would make it. It was so weird to be standing next to his bed after coming so far hearing him say "Before they took me in for the op they told me that I might die. I seriously thought I would never see you again." So if you want to talk about tears and emotions, all I can say is A LOT.

And then there were some LOLS.

Next day he was back in the home with a cup of tea and all that plastic tubing off. Irony of the situation is now I have a sore throat and headache so can't go round to see him today.

I cooked him some Cardomom and Pistachio shortbreads though. Tomorrow will be macaroons.

Got to go though cause Mum is nagging me to get dressed. It's quarter to four and I suspect she has a point. I'm going to Coles to get some prawns as big as my hands.

Kind regards

Yours Truly

xx Lektrogirl

MOONAH

2009-12-16T02:22:00.000Z

Just to add, man with moonah cap and half his teeth missing sat nearby. Tassie in effect.

39 degrees

2009-12-16T02:17:00.000Z

I dont want to rub your noses in it or anything but I'm sitting outside in the shade reading an article in New Scientist about dogs being smarter than cats with me shoes off, birds singing, car doors opening and closes, women with varicose veins, blokes with beer bellies, polite teenagers, and the breeze, Australian flags, blue skies and blowies. And I'm outside an airport. All I can smell is sunshine and gum trees.

Shit - I'm gonna need a hat for when I'm here and I left my softcore one at home. Fuck knows what old cricket hat mum will have.

Xx Lektrogirl

Melbourne

2009-12-15T23:52:00.000Z

Well folks ITS A SCORCHER OUT THERE!! All kinds on wardrobe malfunctions, stubbie shorts, thongs and wrap around mirrored shades going on. And OMG some serious mutton. I cant help cracking up at everyones accent! Aussie blokes i have to say are hot. A fashion workout and a haircut but gimme a blow amongst the gum trees, with lots of plum trees, a sheep or too and a kangaroo. I think only Mrs G will get that.

Thanks to ganstas in South America my trip into Melbourne City is foiled, but I have enough for a packed of Twisties and some raisin toast and a latte.

Xx Lektrogirl

P.s. Thanks to the bank of sheilas!! I will be in touch at a later date. X

Hahaha

2009-12-15T15:15:00.000Z

Card cancelled due to transactions in columbia while I'm penniless in Singapore. No access to any money for the rest of my time in Tasmania.

Rippa.

PUBLICITY

2009-12-14T12:49:00.001Z

CLUB PHILOS, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

I have had to increase the Cardinal's responsibilities. She is not only "SWF best friend", The Cardinal is now to be know as my "Number 1 Publicity Advisor" after finding some graffiti scrawled in the toilets at Visions.

LEKTROGIRL IS A SLUT!

Imagine.

Sophie Blair and I were taken aside in grade 5 by Mrs Beekmeijer for a quiet word that we didn't have to feel obliged to let the guys kiss us or cuddle us at recess and lunch time. Otherwise it could lead to people thinking bad things about us.
Shortly afterwards, Jason Roberts who was also in out class and had impetigo around his mouth all the time gave me a love note which read "To my sex loving girlfriend, I love you." I didn't even know what sex was. But I kept the note in the cuff of my brown corduroy jeans only for it to fall out when I got home and have my Dad march down to school to have a word with Jason Roberts.

Anyway so there was The Cardinal, PR Advisor and I slugging back the G&T at visions and I told her about the graffiti. She laughed, asked if I took a photo and said "Well it's all publicity!"

Then we danced all night long & shared a black cab home cause that is the kind of bourgeois women with cleaners, cats and speciality bake ware we are now.

What sluts!

xx Lektrogirl

12.12.2009 Москва

2009-12-13T04:23:00.001Z

12.12.2009 Москва, originally uploaded by im_foto.

And I had a lovely time at CLUB PHILOS.

xx Lektrogirl

NOUS ALLONS A LA PLAGE

2009-12-10T17:04:00.001Z

Hot Christmas!

Musique: Projet de compilation "PARDON MY FRENCH" ("J'ai Toubon")

xx Lektrogirl

CLUB PHILOS

2009-12-10T10:52:00.002Z

HEY EVERYONE! LAST CHANCE TO GET CALLED A PRICK IN 2009 BY PHIL, SEE PIPPA BROOKS ON THIS SIDE OF 50 AND SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS BEFORE IM OFF TO AUSTRALIA:

C L U B P H I L O S
b e c a u s e y o u a r e w o r t h i t !

CLUB PHILOS IS HERE

CLUB PHILOS

Come down to Club Philos on the 12th of December at Visions Video Bar, Dalston. 100% wicked party vibes, crisps in bowls, pineapple and cheese on sticks, amazing deco. Every person gets a free party bag at the end of the night. It's gonna be wicked so don't miss out, only £3 to cover cost of venue hire. Proper vibes. CLUB PHILOS
12th December
Visions Video Bar
Dalston
10pm - 6am

Andy Jenks
Pippa Brooks
Rachel ball
Matt avery
Thomas Whitehead
Jive Bunny
Philie-t

Loads of crisps.

!ALL WICKED TUNES ONLY!

!!!LABORATOIRE GARNIER!!!

only > £3 <

CLUB PHILOSOPHY.

SPIRITUAL

2009-12-08T23:23:00.001Z

zoom, originally uploaded by marisaolson.

Well on top of everything else, I got my period with cramps like the San Andreas Fault in motion. [Sorry Mrs K - that is why I didn't answer the phone. I just got off the tube, had two heavy book bags and felt like I was about to prolapse.]

I am looking forward to the weekend. I am already very sad to be leaving Hobart for two weeks because I will be IN Hobart visiting Dad. But the Universe is a very magic place and who knows who I might run into there and what I might do.

Tonight dredging the internet for disgusting nudie pictures that make squeal with delight or snort in hysterics was very fruitful. I haven't [we haven't Val & I] added pics on there for a while. Due for an update soon I should think. The new sporadic research is because we are talking with Akroe about the possibility of doing a photographic project with him.

So my next question is: Anyone game enough to do a mental shoot? You wont have to have sex with anyone, or put anything in yourself, or suck anyone off - or even show us your Money Box or you Magic Stick - but nudity will be required as is the ability to put a cardboard box on your head, do cartwheels and basically act lameatnames.

xx Lektrogirl

STRESS ALERT

2009-12-07T18:56:00.003Z

Got woken up at 6am with Hobart doing a little wake up sick - a pukette -next to the pillow on my bed. I had gone to sleep thinking about my Dad as he has been having confused spells and now he has a sign at the bottom of his bed saying "Hi John. You fell out of your wheelchair and broke your hip. That is why you are in hospital." He is having trouble always knowing what is going on. He told Mum to tell me he is sorry. Sorry for what? For being a prick when I was growing up? Sorry that he won't make it to March? Or was the "Sorry" a "Pardon?" for some other conversation he was having in his head with someone else?

So I am going home on Monday. I am dreading the flight, the fatigue, the lack of money, how it might be before I get there/after I get there and all the work I have to do before I go away for my boss.

So,imaginary boyfriend, why don't you come over, cook me pasta and tuna for dinner and make crap jokes all night? Oh, that's right. You don't exist. Sorry.

xx Lektrogirl

MIGRAINE

2009-12-06T18:08:00.001Z

NCP 010899-8, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

Nursing an absolute shocker today.

xx

JUJU

2009-12-05T19:48:00.004Z

And no I don't mean the Champagne bar in Chelsea.

So, The Cardinal gave me the fabulous book Nollywood by Pieter Hugo. I love all the pictures of the women and witches and demons. I know how they all feel! Redwine and peanut sick dreadlock anyone?

SATURDAY! I spent quite a while reading other birthday presents from last week scoffing nougat and waiting for my cleaner to be 2.5 hours late which is long, even by her standards. I did call her to find out what was up and she was having a fight with her flatmates who all had electric heaters in their rooms and not admitting it so she was paying more than her share of electricity. The landlord came for a big meeting so big trouble in little Ghana.

Through the course of the day, I decided the best use for my completely luxurious and useless new Luella notebook calf skin bound and embossed with a mushroom, would be to jot down some of Dora's comments about life. And today I was laughing with tears in my eyes about Elizabeth the other white clear she knew that was so fat she has no shape and so she told her and Elizabeth complained to the supervisor but no-one cared, the old lady who had a stroke and the Jamaican threw away her walking frame and how Jews [the חסיד ones] wear shoes that are so bad that if you throw one, not even a dog would touch it.

xx Lektrogirl

JOE

2009-12-05T13:29:00.002Z

joe short, originally uploaded by All About Eve Babitz.

One of the many reasons I hang out with the boys for Madame whenever she asks me. I have to say, I wasn't there when this happened, but how fabulous that Madame recorded the event for all of us to see!

And oh!

More interesting than this woman having a go at the Beyoncé routine is the kid in the background. What is she up to?

xx Lektrogirl

I WAKE UP ANOTHER DAY

2009-12-05T12:34:00.001Z

, originally uploaded by ½ '.

LOVE IS A WINDING ROAD

2009-12-05T12:22:00.002Z

And it is a shame when everyone else finds out about it...

xx Lektrogirl

_MG_2393

2009-12-03T23:18:00.001Z

_MG_2393, originally uploaded by sannah kvist.

AT THE RESTAURANT

2009-12-03T20:38:00.000Z

On my own rolling round East london after a visiting an exhibition / gallery opening on vyner street with my boss. So I end up in the rivington grill bar on my own.

Xx Lektrogirl

REEVE 36721

2009-12-02T18:16:00.001Z

Reeve 36721, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

2009-12-01T14:27:00.001Z

1933, Ferdinand Krch, Jeux de pliage, originally uploaded by A Journey Round My Skull.

Hi!! Another year down [the drain?!] but another year's wisdom.

How lucky am I when I see one of my favourite Flickr streams has post dozens of French children's books from the 30's which I have to say is EXACTLTY WHAT I LOVE!

And I will end this birthday post with a picture of myself.

THE BIG WITCH

xx Lektrogirl

2009-11-30T11:32:00.001Z

02 Jonathan Zawada, Big Mouth Zine, originally uploaded by A Journey Round My Skull.

Pneumonia and blood tranfusion. Will it ever end? I guess with death albeit now or later.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB UPDATE

2009-11-29T18:53:00.001Z

Non Heart Attack Celebration Cupcakes, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Hi Folks,

I have just been baking some red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing and Medici chocolate hearts on top in celebration that my Dad seems okay after the heart attack he gave me by having a little heart attack. I got a rather jolly text from the old prick last night:

"Mite be too early, but stil abord, afta me slight heart attacck. i'm still kickimg 4 march, but not too vigourotsly. Fark busted hips 'hurt. very much. Tell hoby i lov her and you. Thanks for the double bungd text. Luv from yer old dad, and hnby."

xx Lektrogirl

BODY PARTS

2009-11-28T18:38:00.001Z

Kottie artwork, originally uploaded by PULLED-UP.